By SVB

 

TAMPA, FL--During a visit to Busch Gardens last Saturday, Governor Jeb Bush was spotted crying while standing in line for the Montu rollercoaster. Tara Hutton, a sophomore at the University of South Florida, was waiting in line for Montu with her boyfriend and her best friend when she spotted the Governor in front of them with his son, bawling. "He kept wailing, 'I don't wanna go on the ride, it's scary!' and, 'Hold my hand so it won't be as scary!'" Hutton said. "His son looked pretty annoyed and told him that if he was a brave boy, he'd get an ice cream after it was over. That seemed to quiet him down." "Yeah, that was pretty freaky seeing the leader of our state acting like a five year-old," Hutton's boyfriend, Ronald Agner, was quoted as saying. I do believe that it scarred me emotionally, a little." "I have no idea what they're talking about!" an enraged Bush said at a local press conference. "Lies, all of it! I cringe at their disrespect!" Immediately after, he stuck his thumb in his mouth and stomped off stage, murmuring something about his "blankey".