Q. Dear Buffy,
What gifts are you giving people this year?
---Videogame lvr
Dear Videogame,
First of all, what the hell kind of name is that? Is that your AIM screenname or something? Were you too lazy to put
the "o" and the "e" in that word? Grr...technology is dumbing you kids down these days.
Secondly, what I am giving my loved ones this year is my love. There is no better gift than that. ;-)
Q. Dear Buffy,
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
---Dasher in Erie, PA
A. Dear Dasher,
First of all, I love the reindeer reference. Puts me in the Christmas spirit. Second of all, I do believe in Santa because,
well...I am Santa Claus. I know, I know, Santa is "supposed" to be a big fat guy with a beard but that was taken out of context.
See, one year I visited a primitive tribe on the subsahara of Africa and the tribal artist created a sculpture in my likeness,
only it was exaggerated. It was fat, to show wealth. The tribe I visited believed that if you were portly, you were wealthy
because you could afford to eat. Well, that sculpture got out and the rest is history.
Q. Dear Buffy,
My actual name is Dasher. It's a family name and I don't appreciate you making fun of it.
---Dasher
A. Dear Dasher,
That's your actual name? Uh, I'm sorry. And that can be read on more than one level.
Q. Dear Buffy,
Have you been naughty or nice this year?
---Naughty in New York
A. Dear Naughty,
Look at my previous responses. Think over what I have written in the past. What do you think?
P.S. Judging from your nickname, I'd say I'm in good company
Well, boys and girls, I'm all out of time. I've got to decorate my tree, hang my stockings and bake some cookies for
myself. By the way, none of you are getting any presents. Deal with it.
---Buffy the "Kris Kringle" lawn gnome
