Prosthetic leg injures man
By SVB
ORLANDO, FL--A flying prosthetic leg at Disney World last week is said to have given another Disney patron a concussion.
The owner of the leg, Ted Haskil, was reportedly riding Splash Mountain when, for unknown reasons, his prosthetic leg became
loose, flying from the ride and hitting Dan Shirley, who was walking past just before the big spash at the end of the ride.
The impact was enough to send Shirley to the local hospital to be treated for a concussion. Said Haskil, "I am deeply sorry
to have caused Dan's injury. Recently, I have been wrestling with the problem of the bolts on my prosthetic leg getting loose.
However, before my trip to Disney World, I tightened them up to prevent this very thing. Unfortunately, it happened anyway."
To keep from being sued, Disney reportedly gave Shirley $600 in Mickey Mouse Bucks plus complimentary Mouse Ears. Said a Disney
Spokesman, "After an unfortunate incident that occured last month which involved one of our workers dressed as Mickey Mouse,
a bottle of Jack Daniels and an unsuspecting patron, we really don't need any more bad publicity or law suits. We hope that
Dan will accept the Mickey Mouse Bucks and Mouse Ears as a token of how sorry we are that this happened." Shirley was unavailable
for comment.
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Beaver attacks Bush
By C.S.
TALLAHASSEE, FL - Emergency Units were dispatched to the Governor's house today, after a call came in that Gov. Jeb Bush
had a enstranged encounter with a beaver. The beaver was reported to have somehow got superglued to the Governors pants. Bush
declined to comment to reporters. Apparently, Steve Irwen, a famous zoologist, brought the beaver since it is his new pet.
Irwen was visting the Bush's for the weekend to discuss how much land the alligators would need in the Everglades. Bush hopes
to expand and destroy acres of the Everglades in order to make way for his new theme park. The new theme park is rumored to
be called Bush World. "I think the beaver wanted some wood, if you know want I mean!" qouted one FSU student
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